I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Your dad touched me again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
