I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
