You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
