woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
