OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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