epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
