I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
