he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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