I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
