Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize