I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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