so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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