Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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