What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
