Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
