I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I smell stomach acid.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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