I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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