New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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