Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
