He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize