i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
