So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
