Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
