3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
