She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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