I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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