So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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