I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
