Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize