And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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