There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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