ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
