please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
