Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
