so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
