Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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