DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
