I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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