I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize