No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
