non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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