so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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