we have officially lost it.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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