I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He has the fingertips of a God
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