If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
