Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We named our party play list daddy issues
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
