Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
