and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
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