I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
