I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
