Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
