If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
birth control should be required to get into college
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
