I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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