Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
