Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
