btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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