i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
