Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
