soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
