What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
