I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize