When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
