see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize