you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
