I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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