How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
