Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
