That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The Olympian is in my bed
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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