Already got asked if we're dating
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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